Life is hard but also beautiful; it can be frustrating, scary, and challenging while simultaneously rewarding, exciting, and fun. But, no one can experience life for all that it is if they are not healthy. I remember one of my first frustrating trips to a medical professional in the middle of a mysterious illness. I had no energy as I was suffering from extreme fatigue, muscle aches, headaches, and joint pain. At the time I had four children at home to care for, my youngest was 3 and my oldest was 15. There were days when I could not do the most basic tasks to care for them. Fearing the worst, I scheduled an appointment in hopes that a doctor would be able to give me some answers to help me fix my body. What I experienced was a person who appeared to not enjoy her job and who lacked compassion. She was cold and mechanical. It was the last thing I expected and definitely didn't need considering I had a spouse who was not very kind and supportive of me in that current state of unwellness. After going through the routine listening to the heart and lungs and then peering down the throat and in the ears, she asked a few of the textbook questions and stared blankly at me as I answered. Then she took me completely by surprise when she asked, "Are you depressed?" In disbelief, I thought about it for a few seconds and replied, "Well...if I am, it's because I can't take care of my family and I have no quality of life because of how badly I'm feeling." As if I wasn't shocked enough by how the visit was going, she asked, "What do you want me to give you?" I was almost angry at this point and responded very matter-of-factly, "I want you to tell me what's wrong so I can fix it!" With a spin of her chair, she rolled away from me and towards her computer as she explained that she could give me a referral to a psychiatrist. I had nothing more to say. She left the room, I got dressed and drove home with no answers and feeling more discouraged and hopeless than before I had arrived.
That was the beginning of realizing that if I wanted to be happy, healthy, and whole again, I was going to have to take charge of my own well-being and be willing to take the necessary steps to have the quality of life that I knew was possible if I could just get healthy. In a way, I am grateful for what seemed like a pointless, frustrating visit with a medical professional that day, because it helped me to see that I am responsible for the care and nurturing of my body, soul, and spirit and I get to decide how I'm going to get the most out of this gift of life.
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